习惯

A life that is long gone but not lost....
i miss those days where i need not worry about anything...
and sitting in front of the computer just to go online
now i am doing everything on my own
not exactly everything but most things
settling a house, keeping it clean, checking the house and keeping it safe...
and need to think how to manage all the expenses ever since i move out
where can i get extras, where i can save
life has been pretty bad nowadays
and i do not have extra time to do anything else...
not even sitting in front of my computer and listen music
life has been pretty hectic these few days and i have to juggle my time around for so many things, between work and play and my own life
not even a day off...(ok rarely a day off)
learning to work fast and accurate...all the basics that i am suppose to learn like 10 yrs ago?
and all the ways to give in all my best in everything and make sure everyone is happy with everything..
it has been tiring..and very bad...
but i should say that i cant make it without my housemates, coz they are good ppl =)

honestly speaking i think i am getting really old these few days, and extremely clumsy as well...
one week i added at least 2-3 bruises on my legs and hands, my CNS is a little bit down these few days, and i keep forgetting things...
and i think i am lagging from the real world
that circle that i draw around me is getting smaller and smaller
things and people seems further and further away
having less time to go socialising...
miss meeting all my coursemates and fellow college-mates
only comfort i get is from the house i am in now
whatever is happening i still have to put up this face with the best smile that i can offer to everyone, pretending nothing is happening
(and i NEVER hide under my pillow and cry or do things similar to this)
i cannot backdown from little things like this, i have to live on since this is the life that i choose.
i take responsibility of the own life that i choose to have...
and now i know i have to search for the life that is long gone
i need to keep everything back on track....soon

and i mean it